Overwhelmed about housework?

Here are 3 principles of home management that will help you find more joy.

Do you ever feel like you are drowning in laundry, housework, meal prep, and taking care of your kids??

I’m a mom of 4, and I totally get it. It’s a lot.

If you want a perfect formula to have a clean house every minute…you will need to put your kids up for adoption. Sorry.

But here are 3 principles of home management that can help you create more order in your home and feel more joy in your life.

Principle #1. Managing a home is “real” job.

Most of us don’t get paid for the chores we do at home each week, so we tell ourselves that home management isn’t a job, or not a “real” job. Listen up, my friend. I want to tell you something: Managing a home is real job! And one of the most important jobs you or anyone has. It matters.

Depending on how much you outsource or do or don’t do, and not including child care, you will likely spend 10-15-20 hours a week managing your home. This is a part time job! If you really believe this, then you can start getting creative about when and how you get your work done.

Think of it: You’re your own boss, you have flexible hours, but there are a certain numbers of hours of work that you need to put in each week. If you think of it like a job, and you’re the CEO, it’s empowering! You get to decide which tasks matter the most and the least, what things to delegate or divide out, and what systems will work best for your personality and your family. If you embrace a mindset that this is a real job that is totally worth doing, you can feel like a boss. You are a BOSS, girl. :)

Coach yourself: How could thinking of managing my home as a job help me get creative, and try out some new strategies for success? Jot down some ideas!

Principle #2: Being intentional is more important than being productive.

You probably think the reason you feel stressed and overwhelmed is because your house is a mess and you’re not getting enough done. But hear me out. You actually feel stressed because of how you are THINKING about it. You expect yourself to “do it all” (whatever that even means!) and then you look around at the mess and tell yourself you are failing. And then you feel down on yourself and don’t get much done, or you work work work to try to get everything clean so you can feel better, but there are always more messes. Have you been there?

Rather than just trying to be productive all the time, try directing your brain to be intentional. Get specific about what you really expect of yourself, about what is actually realistic, and then be intentional about what you are NOT going to do. You can feel guilty every week that you don’t wash the sheets, or you can just DECIDE that in this season of life we are only doing it once a month. You can feel guilty every time your main floor is cluttered, or you can DECIDE that you will tidy it up twice a week and feel great about the clutter on the other days because you are being intentional. Do you see what I mean?

Coach Yourself: Make a list of the chores in your home.

Start with a list of jobs that are “essential.” Like unless you broke your hip you would for sure do these jobs every week. Then decide which jobs are “important,” then which ones are “nice,” and finally which ones are “luxurious.” Consider using this list to negotiate with yourself on a week where you have had sick kids or a big responsibility outside the home and intentionally choose NOT to do luxurious, nice, or even important jobs some weeks.

Coach Yourself: Sit down and have a meeting with your boss.

(That’s you, talking to yourself). Let her know that the demands she has been placing on you are totally unrealistic and not very well defined. Ask her to define your job a bit more clearly. This might be something like—I need you to do 4 loads of laundry a week, clean the bathrooms twice a month, sweep the floor twice a week, do the dishes every day etc. Tell your boss if the demands are unrealistic for your stage of life and negotiate new expectations. Give yourself measurable, doable tasks to complete each day and each week, rather than just telling yourself you’re supposed to do as much as you can until you flop into bed exhausted every night. CHOOSE on purpose which things you are NOT going to do on certain days or in certain seasons.

Principle #3. You don’t have to.

As a life coach, I totally believe in the power of this thought: <<You don’t have to.>>

I used to believe that I had to make dinner for my family, I had to vacuum, I had to do the laundry, I had to take care of my kids. But you know what? It’s not true. You don’t have to do any of it.

The truth is, you CAN. You GET to, in fact. And most likely, deep down, you actually even WANT to. Even when it’s hard, even when you’re tired, even when your kids aren’t grateful… you actually WANT to make your home a place of order where clothes are clean, meals are provided, and toys (sometimes) get put away. Isn’t that what you actually WANT to do? There’s something magical that happens inside of your mind when you admit that you don’t have to do any of it, but you CHOOSE to because you want your home to be a place of peace and order and joy. (Doesn’t that thought feel so good?)

Once you are clear that you are CHOOSING to do this work of managing your home, then you are empowered to make it as fun as you want to!

Coach Yourself: Think of some chores you dread and ask yourself: How could I make this more fun?

How could I involve my family, and make chores a way we can spend time together?

(ex: having a child read out loud to you while you fold his laundry, blasting music while you do dishes as an entire family, handing magic erasers to each member of your family and attacking one room of the house, doing a weekly “power hour” where everyone has different jobs for 60 minutes and then you have a treat, etc.)

What can I pair with this activity to make it more enjoyable?
(ex: Listen to your favorite podcast or call a friend while mopping the floor, listen to your favorite song while cleaning the toilet, light a scented candle while doing dishes, etc.)

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed about home management, have a meeting with your boss (yourself!) and tell her you want to restructure your job a little bit. Empower yourself to choose some things you won’t do, and invite yourself to find some ways to have a little more fun doing what you decide is really important.

Cheering you on!

If you’d like personalized help finding more joy in your home management, I’d love to help!