Episode 85: Savoring THIS Version of Your Life
If you’ve ever felt like your life should be better than it is—or like no matter how hard you try, it’s never enough—this episode is for you. I’m sharing a simple perspective shift that has helped me loosen my grip on perfectionism and feel more joy in my everyday life. We’ll talk about how perfectionism shows up as a resistance to trade-offs, and how accepting that any decision will be 50/50 can bring more clarity, freedom, and peace. This one has been a game changer for me—and I think it will be for you too.
Download My Free Guide
The 3 Shifts
That Change Everything
Whether your kids are little, grown, or somewhere in between, this guide will help you move through discouragement and back to joy in your parenting
Full Transcript:
Ep 85-Savoring THIS Version of Your Life
You're listening to the Think New Thoughts Podcast with Emily Ricks, episode number 85, Savoring THIS Version of Your Life
I'm Emily Ricks and this is Think New Thoughts, a life coaching podcast to help you find more joy in your relationships. In each episode, I'll share a simple idea that will help you see things in a new way so you can love God, your neighbor, and yourself more deeply than you ever have before. If you're ready to literally change your mind, I think you'll like it here.
How are you today? Recently, we took a road trip to Utah to see my oldest son sing in the choir
at a big conference for our church. We drove about 17 to 18 hours in a 48-hour period, so it was
kind of crazy, but really great. And during that weekend, we had lots of time in the car.
We had some tight quarters, all of us sharing a bathroom, coordinating shower times, which we
don't have to do at home. So there were a few things that started to kind of get on my nerves. My
son Tyler is 12, and there were a few times in the car where he was making annoying noises, or
just like kind of being obnoxious on purpose.
And I noticed I was able to shift from frustration into enjoyment when I thought, okay, this is what
our family looks like right now. This is the current version of our family on this current trip, and
we'll actually never have this exact version of our family ever again. This combination of ages and
personalities is completely unique.
And I thought back to my oldest, who is now 21, when he was 12. I remembered a particular road
trip where we had these Hello Panda snacks. They're kind of like Teddy Grahams with chocolate
inside, and I was rationing them out to people in the car.
And Ethan really liked them, and he wanted more than what I gave. And so he made up this song
about Hello Pandas and sang it over and over and over. He was trying to get me to cave and give
him more.
And it was so annoying, but it was also really funny. And remembering Ethan at that age helped
me to put this trip into perspective and actually enjoy the whole experience, not believing that it
should be any other way than what it was. Have you experienced this kind of shift before when
you realize that your current stage isn't going to last forever, and that makes it more precious
somehow? As I was sitting with this version of my family at a restaurant with all of my kids, I saw
somebody with a baby.
And I remembered a time when my mom came out to Indiana and took us to a restaurant when
my two oldest sons were pretty little. And it just gave me perspective that any age of my kids is so
temporary. Any age for any of us is temporary.For good or bad, it won't last. And this perspective helps me to enjoy my life and my kids a lot
more when I think this way. So I want to share some ideas today about different versions of your
life and some ways that you can savor whatever version is happening now, even though no
version will ever be perfect.
So let's talk first about the idea of savoring. Savoring is often used in context of a taste or a smell.
Like you can savor a bite of a hot chocolate brownie and eat it slowly and enjoy every moment.
Or you can savor the smell of a pot roast cooking in the crock pot as it wafts through your kitchen.
Savoring has an essence of kind of slowing down and really noticing the beauty of something, not
just rushing through it, hoping it will be over soon. So you can rush through your day-to-day life,
or you can choose to slow down sometimes and really savor and enjoy certain parts.
If you want to try savoring your life a bit more, as opposed to rushing through it, here are two
concepts that I find really helpful to do it. Number one, imagine yourself looking back on today.
And number two, fill in the blank with a statement that I'm going to give you.
So number one, imagine yourself looking back on today. Here's what happens to a lot of people.
They complain and rush through what's going on in their life right now.
And then they look back later and wish they could have it back. So instead of waiting until
something is gone to miss it, you can borrow some of that perspective now by just considering
every so often 10 years from now, what will I miss about today? Here are three questions that I
want to invite you to consider 10 years from now. What will I miss about my kids and the way that
they are right now? 10 years from now, what will I miss about my body and the things that it can
do 10 years from now? What will I miss about this stage of life that I'm in right now? Especially
when you find that you're feeling like life is tedious or monotonous or super hard looking ahead to
what you will miss about this stage can really shift you into gratitude for what you have.
So give it a try while you're sitting in a stoplight or stirring soup or folding laundry, just consider 10
years from now, what will I miss about this version of my life? If you start focusing on the answer
to that question, you will start to sense how precious certain parts of your life actually are. And
you might find that you feel a little more present, a little more patient, and maybe a little more
joyful. Life is designed to be 50, 50, half great, half not great.
But when you lean into the good and savor it, you get to really enjoy it. And the other stuff fades.
It doesn't go away, but it isn't your focus.
And since focus creates feeling, what you focus on determines how you feel about your life. So
savoring this current version of your life is not pretending everything about it is awesome and that
life is 100 zero because it isn't. But savoring is choosing from time to time to really acknowledge
what is beautiful and see it and name it and enjoy it.In January, I took a trip to California to see my nephews and my brother in a musical. And one
night I ended up talking with my parents and it was just the three of us in a hotel room for a while.
And as we were talking, we remembered back to several years ago, when the three of us had
been in a hotel when I was doing college music auditions.
And it was fun to reminisce about that. And at the end of the evening, we knelt down and prayed
together. And then we remembered back to my high school days when it was just the three of us,
my older brother and sister were serving missions for our church.
My 17 year old sister, Lindsay had passed away. And it was just us three, me and my parents for
several years. And I don't have rose colored glasses about that time in my life.
It was really, really hard. My mom with a broken neck, all of us grieving, lots of tears, lots of
struggle, lots of pain. But that version of us was actually really beautiful in certain ways.
We would come together at night and we would talk and cry and share and tell each other about
the postcards from heaven that we had received that day. That's what we called it. When
someone would share a memory or when something beautiful would happen or a connection that
we would make with someone.
And that version of us, we would pray together, the three of us. And I can see now that there
were some really beautiful things about that version of us. And so when the three of us prayed
together in the hotel room, just a few weeks ago in California, I got a taste of that 1998 version of
us and realized again in a new way, actually how special that was.
So do you see what I mean about savoring? It's like you just pause and acknowledge the beauty
of your life, not the perfection of it, not the absence of struggle or pain, but the beauty of this
season or this version of what your life looks like. Another way you can savor your life a little bit
more and experience a little more gratitude for what you have while you have it is to fill in the
blank of this sentence. There is a finite number of times I will blank in my life.
And so what you do is you fill in the blank with whatever lackluster task you find yourself not that
excited to do today. So if you're tired of changing diapers, you could fill in the blank with, there is
a finite number of times I will change my child's diaper in my life. It doesn't feel like it, but one day
you will wake up and realize that you just don't change diapers anymore.
That season of life will have come to an end. And it's not a small number of times that you
changed the diapers and maybe you can't even calculate how many times, but it is finite. I
remember a few years ago, I was tired of driving to the orthodontist.
So I filled in the blank with that. There is a finite number of times I will drive Jacob to the
orthodontist in my life. And thinking that thought changed how I felt about doing it.Suddenly I wanted to soak it in. I wanted to lean into the moment and enjoy that time with my
son. And that's really cool because now he's 18 years old.
He drives himself pretty much everywhere he goes now. And so those actually were special
moments in the car, going to the orthodontist. You could try this on a hectic morning.
If you're tired of trying to get your kids out the door, you could fill in the blank with this one.
There's a finite number of times that I will walk my elementary schoolers to school. I know that
was true for me.
I don't have elementary schoolers anymore. That version of my life ended. It was part of my life
year after year, day after day for more than 15 years.
And then it was over. I don't walk my kids to school anymore. If you're tired of making dinner, you
could fill in the blank with this.
There is a finite number of times I will get to make dinner for my family while all my children live at
home. It's funny. We usually don't realize that we're in a particular season of life until it ends, until
we aren't in it anymore.
And you might think whatever you're doing day to day is just regular life and it will always be that
way. But when that season ends, you'll realize that whatever that activity was, whatever the task
was, there was a finite number of times that you did that thing. Maybe you did it thousands or
even millions of times.
Then one day you won't do it anymore. So what season of life are you in right now? What's hard
about it? What's awesome about it? Try filling in the blank of this sentence. There is a finite
number of times I will blank in my life.
This thought can be a gentle reminder that today, this season of life will one day be over. The
beautiful and the difficult parts will end. And maybe remembering that will help you enjoy it just a
little bit more while it's happening.
You are in a season of life right now. You might not think of it that way. It just feels like your
normal everyday life, but it's not permanent.
And there are things about this season that are really hard, things that stretch you, exhaust you
and feel repetitive. And there are also things that are quietly, deeply beautiful. One day this
version of your life won't exist anymore.
This exact combination of people, ages, routines, problems, and joys will be gone. If you don't
want to wait until it's over to appreciate it, try asking yourself 10 years from now, what will I miss
about this version of my life? Or fill in the blank of there is a finite number of times I will blank in
my life. As you slow down and savor some of the beautiful parts of this version of your life, I hopeyou'll feel a little more present, a little more patient, and a little more joyful.
Hey, if you enjoyed this episode and you've been feeling a little
worn down in motherhood, I created something for you.
It's called the three shifts that change everything. A simple guide for moms who want to enjoy
their kids again. Whether your kids are little, grown, or somewhere in between, this guide will
take you from worn down to wise, from discouraged to empowered, and from frustrated to
anchored.
I'd love to share it with you. You can download it for free at EmilyRixCoaching.com. And there's
also a link in the show notes. Thanks so much for joining me today.I'll talk to you next week.
Shownotes:
Feeling a little worn down as a parent?
Grab my free guide, The 3 Shifts That Change Everything.
A simple guide for moms who want to enjoy their kids again.
You’ll discover:
• The Energy Shift that moves you from worn down to wise
• The Perspective Shift that carries you from discouraged to empowered
• The Boundary Shift that takes you from frustrated to anchored
Ready for deeper support?
I offer 1:1 coaching for moms who are ready to experience these shifts in a deeper, more personal way. I’d love to help you renew your mind so you can enjoy your kids again.
